The Power of Grit: Interview with Alexandra Elinsky on Empowerment and Authenticity

Q: Girl Grit: Savage Not Average is the first installment of your Human Empowerment trilogy. What was the defining moment or realization that told you this was the book you needed to write first?

A: I was on vacation in Florida in August of 2022 when the idea first hit me. The series popped into my head, and I came home and wrote GIRL GRIT: SAVAGE NOT AVERAGE within 5 months.

Q: The title itself is bold and fierce. What does “savage” mean to you in the context of women’s empowerment, and how is it different from being “average”?

A: Savage is a bold word. Most of us are raised/conditioned/programmed as girls to be nice, fit in, soft-spoken, raise kids, be good wives and homemakers, do good in school, go to college to get a degree you probably won’t use, get married, raised kids, serve everyone until the day you die so you can be “selfless.”

While unspoken, all while you likely walk around unhealed, depressed, purposeless, and sad because you are confined to the roles and definitions of traditional womanhood and gender programming. Savage means rebel. Color outside the lines. It means a woman gives herself permission to define herself the way she chooses, not conforming to traditional gender norms. Basically, it means badass, intolerant, and bullshit free. A woman who doesn’t tolerate anything is savage. She defines her own destiny and lives by her own set of rules and norms.

Q: Your book doesn’t shy away from hard truths, including the conditioning many women face to play the “good girl.” Was it difficult to write so unapologetically, or did it feel liberating to finally put these truths on the page?

Both. Honestly, I was scared silly and ALMOST did not release this book. I had to face a massive amount of fear and anxiety to release it because I know it is harsh, contradictory, vulnerable, and authentic but honestly that is what we need. Women who are sick of games and BS – who crave something real and honest are ready for the truth even if it doesn’t look pretty. Once I released it (with no turning back) then I felt liberated. I no longer care what anyone thinks of me. Some will hate this book and that is perfectly okay with me, however THE VAST MAJORITY will absolutely LOVE IT, and it will become their LIFELINE. I can see my grandmas and great grandmas in heaven right now doing a happy dance for this book. They say, “finally, someone had the balls.”

Q: You weave in references to other works, research, and your expertise in gender dynamics. How did you choose which voices and sources to bring into the conversation?

A: I read A LOT. I am not a normal human in that aspect. Reading, knowledge and learning are far more important to me than pop culture, TV, movies, bars, clubs, shopping, social life etc. I live a “distraction-free life” so I can discover the truth and through these voices, I have. I chose works I thought were compelling and gritty. I love when authors don’t hold back.

Q: You describe the book as an “emotional, action-packed self-help adventure.” What’s one transformation you most hope every reader walks away with?

A: Not giving a shit what anyone thinks of you AND fearlessly living your life balls out on your terms. Do not let the past define you, but rather your future.

Q: Many readers have called the book life-changing. Has writing it changed you in ways you didn’t expect?

A: Oh goodness yes. I can feel people “souls” healing as I write. I didn’t know this would happen to me, but I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Writing this book was part of my own healing journey and has healed me in ways I didn’t expect.

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Q: The book challenges women to shed the “doormat” role and embrace their regal authority. Can you share an example—personal or from your work—of what stepping into that authority looks like in real life?

A: It looks like healing yourself first and foremost and cutting ties with any “unhealed” people around you who can and will easily bring you down. I used to be a Glutton for Punishment myself. Raised in a Christian environment, I learned that women had a very specific role. To serve everyone without complaining, be selfless, be nice, accept and tolerate abuse and mistreatment, have babies and get married because that is all women are good for blah blah blah. It made me a people-pleaser- perfectionist – glutton for punishment all while I was very unhealed and screaming inside. GIRL GRIT frees women from the chains of girlhood. Boys tend to be coddled and nurtured more in most families compared to girls (not all families but there is a pattern). Girls mature faster because they are forced and conditioned to be mature and responsible caretakers from elementary school on. The Bible itself liberates women but also holds them hostage with very misogynistic undertones. Written mostly by men in a very old time period, this doesn’t surprise me. I call myself a Christian today, but I do not subscribe to behaviors or ideologies that limit a woman’s worth and potential. Because of GIRL GRIT, and the power God gave me, I am closer to IT (because God is not woman nor man) more than ever today. Talk about growing in your faith, amen?

Q: Did you write with a specific woman—or group of women—in mind, or did you see Girl Grit as a universal call to action?

A: GIRL GRIT is a universal call to action. We can easily see the suppression and oppression of women at every turn even in our modern society. This suppression and oppression begin in our childhood homes and is often carried out and perpetuated in the workplace and within our intimate relationships. What men get away with and women are held accountable for just because of the body parts between our legs. That is kind of messed up to a very large degree, right? I know damn well, had I been born a boy I would have been raised differently and treated differently by everyone in my life. My life would be easier, and I would get away with more. People would not hold me accountable or place burdens and expectations on me. This is why more women struggle with Depression and sleep disorders because we are not free. We are not allowed to be human the way men are. I don’t exactly know how all this began or who truly perpetuated it, but I am going to tell you, the buck stops here.

Q: Some readers noted the rawness of the language adds to its authenticity. How intentional was that choice, and how do you feel it helps deliver the message?

A: I was very angry when I wrote this book, but that’s a good thing. Anger is passion and should be released versus bottled up. In fact, I noticed how angry I sounded and actually curtailed most of the book to not read and feel so angry. But nonetheless, I wanted the emotions to be raw and real because I knew that I wouldn’t transform someone’s life unless I made them feel. The choice was very intentional. It delivers the message because it wakes people up. Many people choose to stay asleep, stay busy, stay numb, not think, not feel, not heal – this book is the splashing the water on their face to get their attention and spring them to global action and change. How are women supposed to economically advance if they don’t have the time, energy, or mental health to build the economy and sufficiently support their children? Gone are the days of relying on a provider man who can nip that provision in the bud real fast if he so chooses. Our only choice is to put our big girl panties on and rise no matter how much that sucks. We don’t exist to be comfortable and die someday – we exist to evolve, grow, and evolve / grow the world along with us. It is our job to shift global reality and consciousness.

Q: The reviews describe the book as both bold and supportive, striking a balance between tough love and encouragement. How did you approach that balance in your writing?

A: I seem to have a great talent for always being a real human being. Psychologists say the best type of parent is a combination of love and boundaries or love with strictness and guidance – I guess you can say that is the kind of writer I am, loving but not afraid to call BS. Not afraid to be real, gritty or bold. I have been through hell and back to just live my life and keep my mouth shut. I am no stranger to suffering and neither are my readers. The best way to heal is together, knowing one is not alone on their journey.

Q: Girl Grit is the first of three books. Can you give us a glimpse of how this trilogy will unfold and what readers can expect next?

A: GIRL GRIT was simply the warm up to the series, the appetizer if you will. The book to grab their attention.

The second book, GIRL GAME: BALLS OUT, takes things about 100 layers deeper deep into the pits of the subconscious exploring critical concepts like human emotion, attachment theory, abandonment and neglect, and early parental relationships. If you ever wondered how humans can turn into monsters or how people can shoot up schools this book will provide a comprehensive explanation for human behavior on the deepest level. Bring a box of tissues or several, because GIRL GAME: BALLS OUT is the WAKE UP CALL our world has been desperately praying for.

The third book, GIRL GLOW: TITAN OF TRANSFORMATION is a little more light and fluffy not so heavy emotionally. We already visited hell in GIRL GRIT and GIRL GAME, now we are about to ascend into heaven with central ascension themes including miracles, manifestation, celebrity coaching, worthiness, and confidence from 100 miles away. If you are ready to become the universe’s golden child, then don’t miss GIRL GLOW. After reading GIRL GLOW, you’ll assume a calm yet powerfully confident presence…. “When you walk into the room, all heads will turn and a pin drops to the floor.”

Q: Beyond the trilogy, what’s next for you? Are there workshops, retreats, or programs where women can continue this work with you in real time?

A: Yes, absolutely. Writing keeps me busy, but GIRL GRIT is a whole empire. I am building courses, merchandise, and workshops to support the series and continue its vision and mission.

Q: Looking back at your own journey, what are you most proud of in writing this book?

A: I am not 100% sure I can accept any pride. I was born for this work. I exist on this plane to be a healer. Pride is attached to ego, and I am not about ego. I am here to bless and serve. I am still breathing today, because at 16 years old, on the brink of suicide, a wise mysterious women spoke life and words of affirmation to me that saved my life. I talk about her a lot throughout the series to share my own stories. She told me 20 years ago I would become a published author someday, way before I had any remote desire to write and publish books. She is part of the reason GIRL GRIT exists and if anyone deserves to be proud, it’s her. I am someone who feels way too much. I cry too much. I cry for my readers. I absorb their pain but because of my own healing and transformation, I hope that becomes the gift that keeps on giving throughout this series. When we heal, we heal others – when we refuse to heal, we hurt others. Which choice will you make?

Q: If you could leave women with one unapologetic, unforgettable line from Girl Grit, what would it be?

A: Remember to wear your crown of worthiness every day.

Q: Every book teaches its author something in the process of writing. What did Girl Grit teach you—about yourself, your craft, or even the story you set out to tell?

A: GIRL GRIT taught me that life is a journey full of heavens and full of hells. It taught me the hells are a bigger blessing than the heavens because we don’t grow in heaven, we grow in hell. We heal in hell. If you are avoiding hell, you are avoiding yourself. It taught me to be brave and unapologetic. To walk in my regal authority balls out. To let all BS and negativity go in one ear and out the other. That pain is my greatest friend and suffering my greatest teacher. It taught me that all of humanity is the same and one – that we all just want to f*cking matter. We all want to heal. We all want to love. We all want to grow. We all want to bless and serve others. Pain, suffering, crime, hate, drugs, alcohol, addictions etc. are all only signs that we are unhealed. Some of us notice those signs and some don’t.

Q: Since publishing, has any reader response—encouraging, surprising, or deeply personal—touched you in a lasting way?

A: The feedback has been largely positive and inspiring to me. Even guys absolutely love GIRL GRIT, and they aren’t even the audience demographic, but they have appreciated a first-hand account of learning about the female experience. I have been compared alongside more known authors of my time including Mel Robbins and Brene Brown, which I am very humbled by given that I am a newbie/debut author. I don’t think I am the best writer in the world, far from it, but GIRL GRIT continues to win award after award (maybe 15 so far) and has placed 1^st a handful of times which has shocked me. I have spent many nights alone, sad, unsupported, and filled with self-hatred. My journey was long and exhausting and every day I am still healing. I was 33 years old, on my hands and knees crying like a baby at Tony Robbins event Unleash the Power Within when I accepted for the first time that I am a lovable and worthy human being.

I will not rest until every person on the face of this earth accepts that they are lovable and worthy, because if they firmly believe it and walk in that truth each and every day, not only will they heal, but the collective pain and suffering of the world will begin to heal because people will not be hurting and mistreating each other.

Our job as human beings is to become more human to ourselves and to each other. Take off the mask, be real, be true, and spread your healing fire. You are FIRE WOMAN!